How can you help?

There are many things that you can do if you suspect that someone you care about is suffering from domestic abuse.

Most of them very simple like just letting them know that you are there for them, often abuse sufferers feel lonely and isolated so knowing that you are there and that you care makes a big difference. Continue reading

Myths

 

There are many myths that surround domestic violence and abuse, myths that we should all be tackling. Here are just a few that we have come across.

 

If the children don’t see it they won’t know that it’s happening.

They only do it because they care.

If it was really that bad they wouldn’t stay.

All abusers have been abused.

We shouldn’t get involved if we suspect it is happening to someone we know.

It only happens to people living with low incomes or with poor education.

It is only women that get abused.

Domestic abuse only happens to the minority of people it’s a very small problem.

Abusers are always obviously violent people.

None of these statements are true, anyone anywhere from any background ethnicity or social standing could be an abuser or being abused. They don’t have to have been abused in their past or obviously violent in everyday life.

Domestic abuse is not a small problem, SafeLives estimates that each year 2.1 million people suffer some form of domestic abuse, it has long been brushed under the carpet and ignored. People often believe that what happens in someone’s home is private and that you shouldn’t get involved but a little bit of help and support goes a long way.

What is Domestic Abuse?

The word Abuse is all-encompassing but when it’s broken down what does it actually mean? What does it actually refer to?

We used to just use the term Domestic Violence, we all know what violence is and that it is unacceptable. But victims were not just suffering from violent outbursts.

So we started using new terminology to reflect what victims were actually suffering. In so doing some people seem to have found themselves unsure about what Domestic Abuse actually encompasses. Continue reading

The Right Advice…..

Where do you go to get advice if you are thinking about leaving an abusive partner? Friends and family? Facebook? The law is complex and must be applied to take into account individual circumstances. You can’t rely on stories because the same may not happen to you.

Even if someone’s circumstances sound similar to yours, you might not have all the facts, their situation might be very different to yours and their idea of “nothing” might also be very different to yours.  Most people only know one side of a story and have a personal involvement with one side or the other.

Before making any assumptions, speak to a legal professional that has the real knowledge to be able to help you.

The links below will help you find legal services in your area and help you find out your legal aid eligibility.

http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/

https://www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

https://www.gov.uk/check-if-civil-legal-advice-can-help-you

We Need To Work Together…

Australia’s former Governor General has recently stated that domestic abuse is “…the most grave human rights issue in the world”. Read more here.

This got us thinking that the only way to beat domestic violence is TOGETHER no one individual or organisation can remove it from our society we need to work together, everybody as a team.

We need to be starting young and teaching our children what is and isn’t ok in a relationship. Not all schools are currently doing this. There are plenty of tools and resources around like this one from women’s aid that can be utilised.

We need to make sure that we aren’t just sitting back and watching someone be abused they may not want your help right then and there but don’t give up on them, have patience, do some research so when they are ready you can help them most effectively. For some people just knowing you are there will give them the strength they need. For more ideas look out for our future blog posts full of helpful advice.

They say you need a village to raise a family lets pull together as a rather large village and say we don’t accept domestic abuse in any form.

 

FLAG DV One Year On….

We did it!

We have completed a full 12 months of operating and in that time we have managed to help empower protect and give choices to 58 people with 108 children between them. We would like to acknowledge everyone that has believed in what we are trying to do and helped us to achieve this mile stone. So to all our supporters, volunteers and fund raisers without you we wouldn’t be here thank you for the massive part you have made in making this first year so successful.

The FLAG DV Committee.

More people represent themselves in family courts (audio)

A Freedom of Information request by BBC Radio Berkshire has shown that increasing numbers of people are representing themselves in Reading Family Court.

You can hear our Chair, Helen Grimbleby talking about this, live on the breakfast show this morning with Andrew Peach.

Starting at approximately 11 minutes in.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01z6k99