Looks can be deceiving

While at a conference talking about Mental Health and the affect that has on domestic violence one of the speakers told the room a story of a couple that on the outside looked to have the perfect relationship.

Everyone in their social circle would say how in love they looked, how wonderful that after all the years they’d been together that they still always held hands in public. What they didn’t know is that they held hands in public so the husband could control the words that came out of his wife’s mouth. Continue reading

The Perpetrators Story, Healthy Relationships and Prevention

We talk a lot now about the victims and survivors of domestic abuse which is absolutely brilliant because the more we are talking about it the more we are giving victims and survivors the confidence to talk about their experiences.

It seems that there is very little information out there about perpetrators.

We have read a couple of things online recently here and here. Which got us to thinking about the perpetrators story; is there something there in them to make them behave in this way, is it naturally who they are, the way they were brought up, did something happen to them at home, at school, in life, were or weren’t they taught about healthy relationships? Continue reading

Fact and Fiction

There has been a flurry of news stories recently about a fictional character Helen, and her abusive husband Rob, who are involved in a long running story line in the Archers (a soap opera broadcast on radio 4).

Past victims/survivors are using it as a way to tell their story and encourage others to do the same. It may even plant the first seed of creating a plan to make a choice to leave safely.

It has got us thinking and talking about how dramatization can work to bring issues into the open making it easier for people to talk about and can make it more acceptable to discuss these issues as you are not talking about real people. Continue reading

Behind Closed Doors – reaction from a Flag DV trustee

Here at FLAG DV we have been reflecting upon the fascinating documentary Behind Closed Doors shown on ITV on 14th  February and shown again yesterday (available on ITV player).

The programme makers had unprecedented access to the Thames Valley Police Domestic Abuse Investigation Unit and the victims / survivors they work alongside. Filmed over a 12 month period, and starting from the moment a 999 call is received, the film followed three brave women, who shared their experiences to help the wider public gain an understanding of the issue of domestic abuse.

Personally, the documentary evoked in me a number of emotions, and I must admit many of them were negative. Continue reading

No More

In our job we read a lot. We look at all the angles we soak up as much information as we can find. We want to help as many people as we can as much and as effectively as we can as quickly as possible.

We want to see positive change in the field. We are always looking for the best possible ideas and in doing so reading some of the most awful accounts of how some humans treat others. We also read some really positive and empowering stories too.

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Black Dot Campaign

After reading all about the new black dot campaign that is all over social media, we in the office got to talking:

We wondered how effective it could be? Would the fact that the black dot campaign was so visible on social media make it a good or a bad thing for victims? What if I victim used the black dot but a person didn’t recognise the symbol? What if a perpetrator of abuse did recognise the symbol – could that create a high risk for a victim or could it be explained away “oh no I must have got pen on me”?

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